Boys

I've been meaning to share about a book that I read recently. For those of you that have boys it's a must and if you're a teacher it will help you understand a little more about these troublemakers that just can't sit still like the girls.

So last year Austin had some problems in preschool. He'd hit, throw toys, tackle the other kids and not listen to the teachers. When his teachers would tell me about his days it always seemed like they were implying that I needed to do a better job of parenting yet in the same conversation they would say "well he's just a boy." So...is this normal or did I somehow end up with one of those kids that teachers hate despite my best efforts to raise a well-rounded child. He also never really talked to them the whole year.

We tried all kinds of things at home to get him to behave at school but to no avail. So the school year ended with his teacher recommending that he repeat 2 year old preschool. What?!? There are more details but after talking with many friends that were elementary school teachers with a lot of experience, I went with my gut feeling and their advice and enrolled him in a 3 year old program at another school. I couldn't believe that I was having to deal with such decisions so early.

So over the summer I finally bought this book that I had read about a few months prior called "It's a Boy! Understanding Your Son's Development from Birth to Age 18" by Michael G Thompson PhD and Teresa Barker. I felt so much better about where Austin was developmentally and realized that the problem wasn't him but the teachers he had. Boys just need a different type of approach.

Which leads me to another great source about this same topic. I was watching the Today show yesterday morning when they ran a segment on Why Schools Are Failing Boys. They showed a school that was teaching kids by using more physical activity throughout the day instead of requiring them to sit still. This way the boys were more engaged and focused but the girls weren't left out by this type of teaching either.



So while I think it's great that strides are being made to help us understand and educate boys, I fear that these advancements won't be in place by the time my boys are in school. I know I'll have to find a way to be an advocate for them if they're ever in an environment that doesn't facilitate their learning while trying not to become one of those parents that teachers hate.

The Complications of Making Mommy Friends

I know it's been forever since I've posted. Although I've probably drafted 100 posts in my head. The boys are doing great and we're liking Austin's new preschool. But this post isn't about my kids but me. Those other stay at home moms know how little time there is for that. I'm not discounting that working mothers don't have a lot of time either but there is that escape even though I know it's hard to be away from your kids.

So back to where I was going. Why does it become so much harder to make friends once you're a mom? I've been staying home for over 3 years now and happen to be the president of a moms group but I have still not found that person that I really click with. There have been a few times that it's been "maybe this is someone I can get close with" but then it doesn't happen. Maybe it's that there are so many more criteria. If you really disagree with someone's parenting choices, it's hard to be good friends. Of course the amount of time that you have to get to know someone is much smaller because well you keep getting interrupted by the kids.

The financial differences can make it complicated too. Some moms have to pinch every penny and others have a little more freedom with their money. The hurdle here is that some are inconsiderate about the costs when planning things while on the other spectrum others are constantly complaining about how much things cost.

I do still have a few friends that have been around forever but distance keeps us apart. Some would be there for me no matter what and others have disappointed me when I really needed them. But that the way things work out as time changes us and our situations.

So what is a mom to do? Obviously I need to quit feeling sorry for myself and just keep putting myself in new situations because that other mom that's also looking for a friend is probably just around the corner.